Ever since Ishtar, I have been horny as fuck. All I’ve been able to think about is fucking, wanting to be fucked, getting completely fucked -by the chef. I’ve been completely taken over by some preternatural being. Some sex crazed wildfire creature enraptured by lust-filled carnal obligations wasting no second thoughts on obtaining what their true nature desires. I’ve always thought of myself as a vampire. Desiring the energy of others, the attention, the love. Been obsessed with them since grade school. But a friend recently brought to my attention that I am actually a wolf. Everything illuminated. It explains so much. I am, of course, born in the year of the dog which I have never been a fan of until now. Now….. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It explains how others have always reacted to me. How they don’t know how to accept and read my energy as if I’m some anime character or mythical creature and not a real person. Most people do not trust wolves. It explains why the majority of dogs shy away from me, except for Damian’s Mya, who is completely obsessed with me whenever I go over there. She won’t leave me alone. Glued to my side, must indulge some form of my attentive contact at all times. If I actually pet her, it’s all over. The strangest, most guttural sounds erupt from her throat in a symphony of submissive pleasure. Mya is a pale blue eyed, white wolf.

It explains how I love so unbelievably hard. Why I hunt my interests without any concern for my surroundings. I go after what I want and exist in full force one hundred percent of the time. It explains why I have no inhibitions. I am a goddamn wild animal without apology.

So, playing catch up…..the chef came back into town and we had made plans for that following Monday bc he was “swamped” on Thursday/Friday and I was busy for the weekend. Thursday, the 2nd of May, I woke up with a vengeance. I was surging with energy and looked forward to using it. Felt great, looked great, ready to go, ended up at the beach. Upon entering my favorite spot for self sabotage, I of course see Holly behind the bar and two guys sitting there. I thought, great, people to talk to. Somehow conversation led right into me schooling them on the super powers of my Maca. The guy I was sitting next to, T, was fairly attractive. We started finding out the massive amounts of things in common. Both have a deep passion for music, both Sicilian and Polish, I’m from east Fort Lauderdale currently residing in plantation, he born in plantation now resides in east Fort Lauderdale, both lived in Leon county for a number of years, both have birthdays in August….you get the drift….

Eventually we are making out. It was good. I was feeling it. But he was missing that certain amount of heavy testosterone that I am so inexplicably drawn to. I can sniff it out, and it absolutely intoxicates me. My already low inhibitions when mixed with tequila and that scent of testosterone leave me in a state of mind that abandon all rhyme and reason and solely complete fulfilling the quest for absolute pleasure. Thought to myself, not a bad Thursday! But it gets better…his friend said they had to go, I was temporarily disappointed until moments later when I receive a text from the chef, “Are you at the beach?”

“Yes”

He replies, “Thanks for the heads up 🙄”

I responded you told me you were swamped 🙄. Then he tells me he’ll be there in 20 minutes. I told him he better cum quick, because I had to leave soon. Little did I know how true that tiny quip I had just made was about to get…

He arrives, and we lock eyes from across the room. I have been fed so much Don Julio at this point I think the only thing I was feeling was incessant lust. Quite possibly we kissed hello, but instantaneously he becomes rock hard in the bar. I told him I had to leave and he offered to walk me out but not before showing me what he had done to his Escalade he had just gotten back. The thing is a spaceship. Huge and beautiful and sexy azfuk. Within minutes of examining the interior, we are fully intertwined in multiple sex acts. Fucking in broad daylight in the public parking lot behind Blondies, I had no idea existed on my Bucketlist until today. I texted him “Goddamn P, you make me so fucking horny.” He said, “uh yeaaahhh, me too. Moment I saw you I got rock hard in the bar. Couldn’t wait to get my hands on ya. That was unreal! But only an appetizer.”

It was unreal. And I completely agreed…..only an appetizer for the 12 course meal I truly longed for. Monday afternoon we met again. He fell asleep with his head in my lap, massages, intimacy, he gifted me with a pair of earrings that he hand crafted from lobster spines, wanted to come over later, but I told him we’d have no privacy. We were about to go get dinner and he had a drinks with a client thing come up. I have no idea what transpired out with that client, maybe he encountered a new object of interest that he currently desires to conquer, but he went from hot to cold quicker than a Floridian winter. So I pull back unwillingly…. Would love to wait for him to come to me, but this is impossible considering I am trying to garner new accounts for his sport bar and I need information and documentation in order to proceed with new accounts. My life. Yes, I mix business with pleasure. Yes, I am fully aware that people say this never works. I am completely able to compartmentalize the two very easily. I feel like he should be able to as well. Chris tells me I need to blow him off a few times. I never know how to do that with the ones I actually like.

I crave Aries and Sagittarius. These men are my ultimate jam. I KNOW they love the thrill of the chase and I make it way too easy on them. But I don’t know how else to be, except me. Goddamnit, I want to enjoy myself as well. I crave to be around them. Why don’t they crave the same? Because they know they can have me if they want me. It’s all such bullshit. They’re all assholes. And I always go back for more.

Fast forward to this Friday. My next day off. Mrs. H behind the bar, J and K and a few others sitting there. Justin immediately starts in on me with, “what’s goin on, old lady?” I believe I’m two years older than him, but he’s just pissed of that I blew him off and never took him up on his dinner offer.”

I was like, “what the fuck, asshole!” Then I continued with the asshole theme. Mrs. H was getting him a drink and I said, “oh, drinking vodka like an asshole again I see.” Then I guess he had enough because he says, “Don’t get me started, I could go in on you so hard right now….I saw you.” What do you mean, you saw me? He says, “Now I know why you and I would never work out, because I drive a Toyota.” I played coquettish and said I don’t know what you’re talking about! He shouted across the bar, “I saw you in the Escalade!” They all started laughing at me, I felt like I was reliving a moment from Carrie.

“And the one before that.” Then he says, “I’ve been at the beach all day and you’re more red than I am right now.” I could not hide my absolute horrid embarrassment. I went over to him and K and asked if he had video. He said no, just his hand prints on the glass. I asked him if he was jealous. And he said, “Damn right I am, the guy in the Escalade.”

I turned away for a minute and made a comment to the guy next to me about his beverage choice which was a White Claw. He tells me he reps for them and that we’ve met before when he was sitting with the Sierra Nevada rep, his name is D. I told him I rep too, not for alcohol but supplements. I mentioned how I demo for health brands and I rep Peruvian superfoods and now I’m trying to get accounts for a local sport bar. He asked which one and I told him. He says, “How do you know P?” I told him we worked together at Hugh’s 8 years ago. Dane tells me he used to live with him!! I am utterly embarrassed, because I’m positive he’s heard the entire conversation that was occurring between J, K, Mrs. H and I. My wolffish ways have apparently caught up to me….