So, I am 100% convinced that I have this Universally All Poweful Demon that whispers in the ears of all my potential suitors to, “Run! Run Away and don’t look back!” Because he is completely obsessed and infatuated with me and wants me all to himself. Has to be it. Has to be why I repel men as if it is my job. And I’ve always been supremely proficient at everything I’ve put my talents toward…..this is my theory. And I’m sticking to it. Don’t understand it otherwise. I am literally the perfect partner. I offer up all sides of the chalkboard. An Every Woman rolled into one. But maybe men don’t want that. Maybe it’s too much for them.

I’ve determined that my male counterpart must be a Sagittarius. They’re the only ones who love life and laughter and excess as much as I do. I must continuously be stimulated in some sense or form at all times. Even if it my own mental stimulation. And they also must have the spirit of a Scorpio. Someone who understands the darker side of humor and loves sex as much as I do. Goddamnit….where are you….at least a taste….I’m beautiful, intriguing, witty, intelligent, talented, passionate, active, enticing, adventurous, nurturing, giving, pleasing, caring, compassionate, the list goes on and on and No One wants to date me that even comes close to that list. It floods the fuck out of my mind.

So what’s my next step? To exist? Do I give up? Because apparently the universe wishes me to be a lonely cat woman without any actual cats to call my own. I can tell you one thing that I won’t do is settle. I refuse. I will be alone and emotionally miserable and sexually frustrated rather than be with a man I’m not stimulated by just to say “I have a man”. If I was able to fuck someone that didn’t turn me on I would be getting paid to do so.

On the other side of the spectrum, when I do meet someone that I’m feeling all types of vibes with, I can’t understand why it’s not reciprocated. Because it doesn’t happen with me very often. And because of that, I expect it to be nothing LESS than reciprocated. Especially considering what it is I’m offering them. I demand attention dammit. I demand the attention and the appreciation that I deserve. It’s long awaited and greatly overdue.

I went out with the Pisces a few weeks back. We had an insanely great time and of course I couldn’t contain myself with our chemically charged magnetisms and we ended up fucking in the back seat of my SUV. Or at least started to….but Forest didn’t cum….there just wasn’t enough room to get as creative as I would like and it was slightly frustrating for both of us I believe. Even more so because I couldn’t get my rocks off properly. We made plans to hang out, and I saw him briefly the following day then he pretty much ghosted me. Why? Because I let my hormones run away with me on the most powerful sexual connection I have yet to encounter? So now I’m a slut I guess….

Then the following weekend, on the Pisces’ Birthday, I went out with Miche. Michele actually. Pronounced Michely. The night before we had had a 3 1/2 hour back to back text conversation. The interaction was constant and immediate. That night we had oysters and Invasive and ended up at Angela’s where I impressed the hell out of him with my Epic night of karaoke. He said he’s never seen anyone make a room full of black Women love 4 Non Blondes so much! Then he begged Angela to give me an encore, because he wanted to see me do the same with Radiohead. And I did. He said, “This seems like the beginning of a beautiful relationship” Ha. I come to find out, he’s not only just divorced, but he still resides in the house that he and his ex wife are trying to sell …with his ex wife. Fucking fantastic.

We had a GREAT time but can we say emotionally unavailable a little bit louder please! No! I didn’t sleep with this one so quickly thank god. I have heard from him. He said he had a blast with me and wants to hang out again. I think we have a pretty fantastic connection. And our intellectual repore in conversation is super stimulating. But I don’t know. I’m so extremely skeptical and fucking jaded right now.

Thursday I went to my plutonic lifemate’s House and his gorgeous Moroccan roommate/Homeowner, Michael, was there. Henry and I recorded and went down to J.Wakefield to see Any Other Color. And we had started drinking tequila around 1ish. Not the smartest idea when I’m feeling so rampaciously randy. I went back to their house literally ready to fuck Michael’s brains out without any afterthought of repurcusions and Thank God the Universe gifted me with the amazing relief of him being in an uber to the south Beach Best Buy to replace a shorted out laptop battery!!!

Now I am awaiting Mr B to grace me with his presence as we travel to South Beach this Sunday afternoon to watch he and RT play at Monty’s at Sunset. At the moment I’m not even currently excited. But that’s how H and I work. It’s like Eh whatever then the moment we see each other the sparks reignite. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be singing a different tune and hopefully by that point be properly fucked.

As far as Mr M is concerned…Thursday was not the right time for that. And as far as that laptop battery goes……………………………. God Bless My Daemon.