I use to have a fire in me. An innate passion that radiated from my core straight through my pores ricocheting off of all unsuspecting passerby’s. A fire, a drive, I have felt slowly fizzle out and fall away, the ashes catching various drifts and floating onward to unknown destinations. Yes many things have happened to me in the past ten years that have attributed to that fizzle, and even though I feel exhausted from it’s effects, I must also take responsibility for the affect. I let myself fall, I let myself fizzle. I let life get in my way. I let other people stomp me out. This fire is youth. This fire is what keeps us young and viable and hopeful and spontaneous and alive! What is the secret to keeping this fire brilliantly billowing? This is the fire that men want as well. They want a fire woman. A woman to motivate that same fire in them, to make them feel young and stay youthful and constantly inspired. That is why so many older men date younger women, especially Latin women, for that fire. The majority of men are fire addicts, they are energy vampires. And if that woman let’s life get in the way and allows her fire to fizzle then that fire addict moves on to its next unsuspecting host. Has Josh sucked away my fire, and if I fail to continue producing more will he move on to his next victim?

How deep then does this manipulation go? He constantly makes me question myself and my self worth. Makes me question my confidence and why I don’t hold more of it. It leaves me in deep states of confusion. However, it is only in my benefit to keep my fire, to constantly dream, live in aspirations of unlimited potential, seek and find that drive and fully embody it. It is only in my benefit to stay youthful. But youthful and dumb? What if it remains unfulfilled dreams? All of it remains just a bunch of talk and no completed action? Or is it the act of thinking and speaking the precursor to the doing? One cannot happen without the other, the latter cannot occur without the prior. Committing completely inside of a fantastic reality will only aide in manifesting a realistic version of the actual one.

Josh is a fire addict. He is an energy vampire. But can I reverse this osmosis and feed off of him as well? Can we continuously produce this fire in order to feed off of each other? Or can you only be a fire eater if born one. Is it simply not a choice for some? More importantly, can you actually attract wealth, and happiness, and good fortune by first and foremost tricking your mind into believing you are already living inside of it?