Three nights in a row now Jashar has not slept and has been crying almost non stop, and Josh and I are about to take each other’s heads off. I just want to sleep! This week has been a fucking lot to handle. My work shift was actually more enjoyable than I expected, because everything else surrounding it has been total crap. While I was attending to carts in the parking lot an attractive man with a mellow Jamaican accent said to me, “You have extremely strong sex appeal, and I mean that in the most respectful way possible.” I was in a neon yellow vest for God’s sake! I said thank you and laughed off the embarrassment. He said, “For real, I could feel your energy from far away. Keep up the good work.”
It definitely made me feel good and made me remember that if I find myself in a worst case scenario situation there are potential mates everywhere. If Josh wasn’t in the picture, I might have been inclined to tell him to call me. I have a best friend who is dating this man who lives in Paris whom she met in Vegas. I should be writing this screenplay, I’ve decided…
But I have another best friend of the opposite sex who says this relationship cannot be real, because what woman would be with a man that she could never be with? They met maybe six months ago and each by the end of March will have visited each other twice. But who would spend thousands to fly across the world for a booty call!! If that’s all it is, that’s a lot of money for sex….But then what of all the money that I have invested in Josh to help him find himself? To allow him that time to become the man I see him to be… Is that the same thing? Have I just been paying for sex this entire time along the same lines as my transatlantic love/lust-struck friend?
Funniest thing is they have been hanging out a lot lately…my two best friends…and last night they apparently had an argument and my female friend stormed out on the male friend. They both spoke to me about it today with two entirely different interpretations of the proceeding event. My female friend, let’s call her Brittany told me she went over there to “watch Netflix and chill” but she was drunk brought over beer and wanted to make dinner. She said my male friend, let’s call him Chris, was acting like a total asshole and wouldn’t stop grabbing her phone and instigating arguments so she left because she didn’t want to deal with the bullshit. Chris tells me that she came over to fuck around and stormed out like a child, because he didn’t give in to what she wanted. He was also extremely intoxicated. I felt like I was in the middle of a real life soap opera. So much better than binge watching Netflix. Who really knows what each of their true motivations were. Or even if there were any ulterior motives at all…to me it’s simply true entertainment. And once again we realize how different the female and male perspectives can be. Or even more so, which one of my friends is more inclined to tell me the truth or to distort the reality to make themselves seem a little less embarrassing than the other?
Because if that’s the case the reality of the situation would either be Brittany lying to me to cover up her true intentions and make light of her embarrassment or Chris being the every-man egotistical male and reading too much into innocent intentions to predetermine in his own overly narcissistic mind that every girl must want to fuck him. Or maybe their initial intentions were different than the ones that transpired by the end of the evening. Maybe they change day to day depending on whichever way the wind is blowing. In other words, who really knows what any one of us wants or what each of us is doing…